Tell Stories of Pride and Concern

by Jill Funke

It is natural for parents to want to protect their children, regardless of their age. This basic human instinct can pose challenges for mothers and fathers of military personnel serving their country in foreign lands. Several families have watched with a mixture of pride and fear while their sons, daughters, uncles, aunts, fathers, mothers and even grandparents board airplanes that will take them to foreign countries riddled with conflict and war. It is an experience that leaves these families feeling a variety of simultaneous emotions, sometimes on a daily basis.

Lora and Leon Burgers have spent the last few years riding the emotional rollercoaster of feeling pride and worry while waiting for their son, Michael Lottman, to return from Iraq. Feeling an urge to serve his country, as well as help fund his education, Michael enlisted. Lora remembers the first time her son told her that he was going to Iraq. She felt her stomach drop, and found it very difficult to let him go the day he left. While Michael was half of a world away, communication with him was not always what the Burgers would have hoped it would be. They found themselves waiting by the phone, almost willing it to ring so that they could hear his voice on the other line. Saying many prayers for his safety as well as the safety of his unit and other soldiers, Lora says that watching the news could be hard sometimes. Yet the family often sought out as much news as they could get on the radio or TV, listening intently for the announcer to say the name of Michael’s company. When it was time for Michael to come home, worry was replaced with relief and joy. Upon seeing his plane, Lora says that she couldn’t help the lump in her throat as she realized he had made it. As Michael went to Iraq three times, the Burgers have learned a few things about having a child fighting in a war. It has meant a great deal to them when strangers, upon hearing that Michael is serving his country, express their heart-felt gratitude and request that Lora and Leon pass along their deepest thank you.

Michael’s time in Iraq has not been without incident. One phone call informed the Burgers that he had been injured and would be transported to Germany for surgery. Lora wanted very badly to be there with her son, to hold his hand and reassure him that everything would be alright. During that experience, she says she spent a great deal of time praying very hard for his recovery. Thankful that he is currently in the United States, the Burgers and the community still worry about Michael and pray for his continued recovery.

Lester residents, Spud and Mary Grotewold, say that the mixed emotions associated with having a child involved with the war effort are continuously present. Their son, Tyler Grotewold, is in Iraq for the second time, and except for a visit this summer, won’t return home until December or January. His first assignment, including making grid maps, which involved going into enemy lines, mapping out where to attack, and quickly retreating to avoid being in the line of fire. Currently he participates in ammunition convoys. This position makes him a potential target for enemy fighters who want to stop the shipments from

reaching their destination. While the Grotewolds look forward to calls from Ty, one call left them terrified. The family was contacted to inform them that there had been an attack on Ty’s convoy that left a few soldiers hurt, yet the caller did not yet have the identities of the injured. Barely able to breathe, the Grotewolds contacted Ty’s unit for more information. The unit had not been apprised of the attack at the time of the call, but was able to get more information and relay their findings to the Grotewolds within the hour. Thankfully, Ty was alright. Mary says that those moments are the worst part of having a child fighting in the war.

As one would expect, Mary says that some of the hardest times during the separation from her son happen at holidays and other family gatherings. While she maintains that she couldn’t be prouder of her son and the other soldiers who are working very hard to better the lives of others, she admits she spends the rest of her time counting the days until his safe return.

Larchwood resident Sandi Hildring says that while she realizes that as mother, she will always want to protect her children, she is also learning how to let go and have faith that the Lord will watch over them and keep them safe. She is eagerly awaiting the return of her son, Ben Hildring, whose homecoming to the United States is anticipated in June. As she reflects on the past few years, Sandi says that they have

been filled with a wide range of emotions. Nothing she has ever experienced could compare to that moment of sitting in a gymnasium with the other parents who had said goodbye to their boys, only to welcome home grown men. Lamenting on the tragic nature of this transformation, Sandi also cannot contain her pride and knows that it was Ben’s choice for his life.

Sandi likens having a child involved with the war to living in two worlds. While going about her weekly routine that includes buying the family’s groceries, she finds herself picking up powdered drink mix, deodorant and soap for Ben and his buddies. Life goes on, yet she feels it is also on hold as she’s always aware that a part of her is missing. When she considers the forms of communication that soldiers and their families had in previous wars, Sandi is very thankful for the Internet. Ben was able to take his laptop and communicate often with his family. These frequent messages told Sandi that he was safe, and helps her hold on to her sanity. She also has found a great network of support from other mothers of soldiers in Ben’s unit, which is from Texas. Sandi draws from their strength and encouragement, as well as the support of her family and friends in the community, to carry her through each day.

While Lora, Mary and Sandi all say that they would like even more frequent communication from their children, they also said that trying to get through one day at a time is the best approach for them. They also find it hard to put into words how proud they are every time their child shares with them stories about building schools and hospitals, and the appreciation they receive from the Iraqi people who benefite from the soldiers’ efforts. When these families think about all of the children who are now getting an education, and all of the sick people who are being made well, and all of the lives their sons are touching through their military service, Lora, Mary and Sandi find that the English language cannot adequately communicate the pride they feel for their wonderful children.